One of our neighbors died recently. It was not totally unexpected, as he had pretty much terminal health issues. But the family was kind of surprised at how quickly he went from being apparently reasonably healthy (given his condition) to passing on. His death contributed to my starting this blog.
We humans tend to fear death, and the natural tendency given that basic fear is to pretty much ignore death, and pretend it doesn’t exist. It puts us in a pretty paradoxical position, of basically living in denial of the one event that is absolutely certain for every single one of us. Another part of the puzzle is that, although there are a lot of unhappy emotions connected with death, and in many cases quite some physical suffering, in a way, that event is very important to come to grips with in order to understand the meaning of our lives.
We humans (at least the ones I’ve talked to, which works out to quite a few) are very aware that our lives are important, have great meaning and potential, and are not to be wasted. And yet, day in and day out, our lives are often held captive by the demands and pressures of our days, either in the workplace, in school, in household chores, driving the children to activities and appointments, eating and sleeping, and the many other requirements of our lives. If there is any time left over, we often want to go into suspended animantion, and escape in front of the TV, computer, or other pasttime.
We know we are here for a purpose and a destiny, yet we often fail to even give thought to what is important in our busy lives.
Now, here is where some thought given to death can help greatly. Generally, the way we pass on from this life might be in one of two ways. Either it is something that we expect and see coming, such as those who are suffering from a long term life threatening illness, or it is unexpected, such as a car accident. The quick way means less suffering and anguish on the part of the decedent, but the slow way means that both the one soon to pass on and his family have a chance to prepare, to spend time together, and to say goodbye.
If you would like to see your life in a clear perspective, take a few minutes, and imagine yourself in the position of the one who knows that his or her time in this life is short, and has perhaps a few months left to prepare for the passage. Now, given that situation, what is important to you? Your house? Your car? The new furniture or china you really wanted? That raise you were hoping for? The extra hours put in at work?
None of those mean so much to you from that perspective, do they? What is important? I’ve asked this question of many people, and the first answer is almost always “Family”, followed perhaps by “Loved ones”. When folks are placing themselves in that position, I can’t remember hearing any other answer.
Love is it, folks! The love we share with family, other loved ones, and even with strangers gives meaning to our lives. Those moments of love are about the only thing we will enjoy looking back at when we are reviewing our lives. The other things will count for little or nothing. Even though I am not dying (that I know of), the things that haunt me in life are the times when I should have given more love and I failed to.
Now the good news is this: after spending a few minutes with this exercise, we can start bit by bit to change our lives, and to bring them into line with what we will want to see when we do get to that point. Any of us who are not dead yet, have at least some time to clear out past mistakes of lacks of love, and to invest a bit more of the time we have left into sharing love with those around us.
Take a step in that direction today! Make an effort to show some extra love to those in your life, especially those for whom it might be difficult. Family members with whom familiarity has grown up, relatives with whom we have argued, or work mates or even strangers whom we wouldn’t normally talk to at all. If you keep at it, you will start feeling the results in your life, and that feels GOOD!
Try it, you’ll like it! Live for love!
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