Of Life and Love

Getting Older?

2011-11-10T20:19:00.000-08:00

I can remember my father telling me that there are certain times when you become more aware of the fact that you are getting older; times when something happens that surprise you with that fact. That day he had just gotten home from work and he said, “You can tell you’re getting older when pretty young women stand up and offer you a seat on the bus.” I guess so.

I don’t ride the bus. If I’m going further, or if the weather is bad, I’ll drive my tiny car, but if it’s not so far, and particularly in the town, I’m thankful that I’m still healthy enough to ride my bicycle. I find it’s much more fun.

However, something happened to me the other day that brought home my age to me. I was in an electrical/electronics goods shop, buying a memory card for a digital photo frame that my son gave us, one that has its own phone number (!). As I took the card to the counter to buy it, I thought to ask if I could get a battery pack that would speed up the recharge time for the flash in my camera. My digital camera saves photos quickly, but the flash takes a long time to recharge, which slows the picture taking down considerably.

So far, so good. But the young sales clerk’s first question took me by surprise: “How old is your camera?” …Ummm…. It really shocked me that I didn’t know! How long have I had it? I turned a shade of red, hesitated for a second too long, and muttered, “I don’t know!” She tried hard not to let me see the almost involuntary rolling of the eyes. She spoke quietly into her walkie talkie microphone, and a young man soon came, who escorted me to the camera section. His question was much more expectable: “What kind of camera do you have?” …Ummm… Again the redening, again the hesitation. “Umm it’s umm a Canon. I don’t remember the name.” He politely and patiently showed me several Canon cameras with unfamiliar names and shapes, and eventually we worked out what general type of camera I have.

Now, the shocking thing about all this, is that I have always been very aware of equipment, its age, the names, and the relative merits of varying products, etc. I thought I was good at all that (actually, I don’t know if “good” is an appropriate word here; maybe “capable”, or “informed” would be better). The shocking realization was that I couldn’t answer what should be very simple questions about a piece of equipment that I own and use.

When I was young, we laughed at my history professor uncle who knew all about the Norman Conquest, but didn’t know what year his car was. I realized recently with a shock that I didn’t know what year my car is!

As I left the electronics goods shop, I thougt about the encounter, wondering why I had trouble answering such questions. The answer I came up with was enlightening. I couldn’t remember those things because they are no longer important to me. Just as I can’t remember the valence numbers I learned in school, or the formula for inductive reactance, because they are no longer important to my life’s interests. At one time they were important to me, and I needed them because of the focus of my life at that time.

I find as I get older that my ideas of what is important in life are changing. When I was younger, I was much more interested in machines, facilities, electronic equimpent, computers, and such things, and I had little patience for the intracies of human nature. If a machine breaks down, you can repair it. Find where the defect is, replace the part, put it back together, and it works. But who can figure out people? They misrepresent themselves, often don’t even understand themselves, act in reaction to so many indiscernable influences, and they are illogical. People generally are not logical, they are emotional beings.

However, as I age, I am finding that if life has any purpose at all (most of us know well that it does), it must be discernable it the basic issues of life. One of the most important parts of our life is relationships. There are about seven billion of us on this planet, and just by sheer numbers we can see that relationships are important. This is also borne out by man’s inherent tendency toward social structure. Relationships are much closer to our overall purpose for existance than are our machines or technology. Through our relationships with other people, we can also see many models for our relationship with God, which is also very central to our existance.

This change of focus from technology to relationship reflects a maturity, something that I have gained from living all the years I have on Earth. I find it is very valuable, and I am very thankful for it. I would not want to trade any of that for a greater awareness of my camera or my car.

Japanese and English personal communication

2011-08-26T07:34:00.000-07:00

I would like to let everyone know that there is a new Yahoo club set up with the goal of providing a space for Japanese people who are interested in talking to foreigners, to meet English speakers who are interested in Japan and Japanese culture and people. It is open to anyone, and the language is English.

You can access the club at this address: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/japengbridge/

There are postings and a chatroom available. We need some folks to join the club to help get it started and rolling, so if you are interested, why not sign up?

See you there!

A prayer for Japan

2011-05-29T05:40:00.000-07:00

The nuclear emergency in Japan is dying out of the news, but it is actually still quite serious. Japan has been suffering from the world wide economic crisis, and also from a very strong Yen. That is not good news for an exporting country like Japan,
as it means the Toyotas, Sonys, and Canons etc, are all more expensive in other countries, and Japan sells fewer. Many companies have failed, and many others have had to lay off workers in large numbers.

On top of that, the earthquake and tsunami have greatly damaged the economy, as the government has to help to rebuild the areas, and besides the very great loss of life, much of the livelihood of that section of Japan was lost. Japan's major automakers have had to stop production because they can't get the parts they need. This means many more people are out of work.

Add in the fear and danger of the ongoing nuclear crisis, and there is a great need for some comfort and relief for the good people of Japan.

I have seen many mentions of prayer for Japan, and I would like to join in requesting your prayers. If you don't know how to pray for this situation, you might consider joining me in my prayer:

My dear loving God, I know that all things are in Your hands, and that all that You do, or all that You permit works toward the good in some way. This situation is so very difficult and painful for so many people in Japan, and I know You can feel their suffering.
I ask You to please comfort them. Provide the needs of those who have lost so much, care for the people who have been affected by the recent events. Please lead those who need comfort to a place of comfort. Those who need material or financial help, please supply abundantly for them. For those many in Japan who don't know You or have a personal relationship with You, please help them to draw close to You through this time of pain and grief. You are able to bring life out of death, rebirth out of destruction, beautiful order out of chaos. Please do that now for the people of Japan.
I ask you this in Jesus' name, Amen.

The Story of Mr. Lee

2011-02-10T06:56:00.000-08:00

I’d like to tell you the story of Mr. Lee, of Taiwan. I met Mr. Lee in a hospital in Kaohsiung, in the south of Taiwan. I was doing volunteer work there, bringing books around to the patients in the various wards, hoping to brighten their day up with a smile, a kind word, and an offer of a magazine or book to read.

As I went through the wards most of the people I met seemed to be suffering more emotionally than they were physically. The hospital was not all bright and new looking, rather a bit drab and older in fashion, particularly in the older wing, which really did seem a bit depressing. The patients seemed to reflect this, and the majority seemed caught up in the suffering, fear, loneliness and worry that is common in hospitals.

As I entered one ward, I went around the room to the various beds offering reading material, and when I got to one bed I was quite surprised to find a man who was smiling and outgoing. He seemed to stand out in the hospital because he was not under the cloud of suffering. I thought he must be in for something very minor, and would be leaving soon. I asked him if he were only there for a short time and I was surprised at his answer. He told me he had been in hospital for nine months, he had broken his back, and the doctors had told him he could never walk again!

This with such a positive outlook surprised me greatly, and made me decide I needed to visit him after my rounds were finished and find out more of his story. After my duties I found my way back to his room and asked him, among other things, how he could be so happy with such a difficult prognosis.

Mr. Lee was a computer programmer. He was working on installing a TV antenna on his apartment balcony when he slipped and fell from the seven story apartment to the street below. He was brought to the hospital, and of course his family was frightened and worried as they waited to hear if he would live or not. When Mr. Lee woke up, he found that he was indeed alive, and his family was overjoyed to find him not only awake, but coherent, with no apparent brain damage. They were overjoyed, but when Mr. Lee found that his back was broken and that he could no longer move his legs, he fell into depression and anger.

He found himself more and more angry, worried, frightened and bitter by his injury, and by the report that he would never be able to walk again. He became quite sullen and despondent, and when his family came to visit him, they couldn’t cheer him up. However, after a while, he realized that his family was suffering as much as he was. He thought about how they were living with the realization that their husband and father would never walk again, and yet, instead of feeling sorry for themselves, they were trying hard to cheer him up. Mr. Lee realized that he was making their lives even more difficult by his attitude, and he decided that he would have to change his attitude for their sakes.

After that, whenever Mr. Lee’s family would come to visit him, he would pretend to be cheerful for their sakes. He would put on a cheerful face and talk about pleasant things: daily family news, how the kids were doing in school, what they would do when he could return home, etc. He kept this up for some time until he realized that it was no longer an act. His cheerfulness became real. His physical situation hadn’t changed, but his heart and outlook had. His life became very happy through his attitude. The cheerfulness he had shown his family had become a part of his character.

My wife and I kept in touch with Mr. Lee for some time after that, and shortly before we left Taiwan his wife and he came to visit us. We passed an enjoyable afternoon, and then he announced that he had something to show us. Mrs. Lee ran out to the car and brought in a pair of crutches, and Mr. Lee proudly showed us how he had come to the point that he could walk with crutches; something the doctors had said he could never do.

A funeral

2010-05-04T05:50:00.000-07:00

Last week I attended a funeral. The 30 year old son of a dear friend was hit by a car while riding his bicycle, and died after 10 days in a coma. I haven't been to a lot of funerals, but at my age, I suppose that will be gradually changing in future years.

There were a few points that struck me. Of course, there is grief, and that is quite a dominant theme. The one who died was young, and it was shocking for his parents and his brothers and sisters. He was unmarried, so at least the grief wasn't further compounded by his leaving behind a widow and children.

The funeral was Christian, so it was generally positive for a funeral, expressive of the hope and faith that the deceased will continue with an even more fulfilling life on the other side. Most funerals here are Buddhist, and I have not attended one of those, although I would be interested to do so sometime. At this funeral, some friends of the family provided very beautiful music and sang meaningful hymns and "songs of Heaven".

I found a particular part of the funeral to be quite moving and, I think, helpful. There were many flowers set behind the casket, and at the end of the funeral, the attendants took the lid off of the casket, and brought it toward the center aisle. Then they started cutting the flowers, and handed them to the guests, friends of the deceased. The guests took the flowers, and tucked them into the casket all around the one who had passed on. It seemed to be a hands-on way of saying a final goodbye, very final, but sweet and loving.

Here in this country, cremation is required. The family goes to the crematorium, and after the cremation they will take the bones of the one who has passed on and put them into the urn. I haven't been through that yet, but it must cause quite some thought and reflection about the issues of life and death. Generally, that seems good to me, as those are some important issues that all too often we tend to ignore.

A Doubly Sad Story

2010-04-15T08:51:00.000-07:00

For several days I have been seeing mentions in the news of a recently released video from the US military in Iraq. The video is taken from a US helicopter, and shows the crew shooting civilians, including a Reuters cameraman and two children. When I read various mentions of the video, it sounded like the soldiers were deliberately shooting civilians for amusement. However today I took a few minutes to search out the video and watch it; it was certainly an education for me.

The video showed a very sad view of the war, in fact of all wars. It reminded me of the key event that started the story of "Born on the Fourth of July", a movie of a true story from Vietnam. The young men in the helicopter were not going for amusement, but they were young men, and therefore inexperienced, they were tense and on edge from having spent months in combat, and therefore danger. They were living in a situation where it was not easy to distinguish peaceful civilians from those who would do them or their countrymen harm. In a nutshell, they were frightened young people in an unfamiliar situation with powerful weapons.

I feel so sorry for those who were killed and for their loved ones who were left behind. It is such a waste of life! Those living in Iraq already have so many difficulties to cope with as a result of the current war, and to have 14 peaceful people needlessly shot from a helicopter must add a great deal of heartbreak. Such events are also likely to increase hostility against the occupying forces, and to result in more attacks on the troops there.

However, I also felt very sad for the men in the helicopter. They had convinced themselves that the people on the ground were armed and hostile, and they took action that they thought was justified at the moment, but they must have realized aftewards that they had killed civilians. Those men will have to live with that, and are not likely to be able to ever forget it. I can imagine the pain that reviewing that scene from the helicopter would cause even years later.

Another side to the story is the culture that those soldiers were brought up in. This is a culture that thrives on video games which look very much like the actual video footage taken from the helicopter. It is also a culture which is insensitive to other cultures. I realize that it is hard to make a cultural connection with men on the ground from a helicopter in a war zone, but if these men were more culturally aware, they may have examined the men on the ground more carefully before opening fire. The insensitivity is to a great degree not the fault of the men involved, but it is something that we as human beings can take steps to overcome.

Reaching out to others who are different from you in some way is a great exercise in broadening your life experience. We need to take the time to deliberately make connections with others who are not already part of our day to day associations. The things we can learn will be with us and enrich our lives; they will help to shape our responses when we have to decide how to treat a new situation. We may not be in the position to have to decide whether to shoot a group of people, but we will have to decide to accept or to reject people in some future situation.

They say "You are what you eat." Others, in referring to the mind say "You are what you read." I would suggest that in matters of the heart, "You are increased by whom you have loved."

If you wish to view the video you can see it here, but please be aware that it is graphic, and real.

A Valentine Story

2010-02-14T07:29:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's day! I'm not so much into "hearts and flowers" stuff, but I like the idea that there is a day that is special to celebrate love. Here's a cute story:

Even at the age of 75, Thelma was very vivacious and full of life. When her husband passed away, her children suggested that she move to a "senior living community." A gregarious and life-loving person, Thelma decided to do so. Read the whole story here:

In Sympathy for the People of Haiti

2010-01-15T03:29:00.000-08:00

My brethren in Haiti,

My heart goes out to you in your pain and grief. I have heard stories of almost unimaginable death and destruction in your country. Haiti is a very poor country, and battled four severe hurricanes in 2008, and has now been hit by this major quake so close to the capital. Those dead are in God’s hands, and I believe that He is more understanding, merciful and loving than any of us can even imagine. Those of you living have to live with the pain, the grief and the rebuilding. I am sorry for your pain, and I pray for you with a broken heart.

It is very difficult for us to understand how such a thing can happen on such a large scale. If it is only chance and happenstance, then ultimately there is no real meaning to life. If there is a God, how can He let such an event happen? They say He is a God of love, but what kind of love is that?

It is certainly hard for us to understand from our earthly perspective. But by the same token, from our perspective we are in no position to judge. If we think about it, either there is a creator God, or there is not. If there is not, then we are left with no direction, no moral compass, no life after death, no reason for life at all. If there is a creator God, then we can see from His handiwork that He is beautiful, loving, and life-giving. He is creative and delights in life and in love. But we as created creatures cannot hope to understand all of His mind, His purposes, or His way of doing things. Also, if there is life after death, then death is not the worst thing that can happen to us. If God is loving, then it should be a pleasure to be in His hands, and to be face to face with Him. There are many accounts of such from non-religious people who have been through near death experiences.

As for pain and suffering, we certainly don’t like going through it, but it seems to be an inescapable part of living on Earth. From accounts of Heaven, it seems to be a place where all tears are wiped away, but here on Earth, we are suffering through a vale of tears. Again, it is very difficult for us to understand why, but it seems to be an integral part of the overall plan of life on Earth. We have to trust our creator to care for us and lead us, even through our tears, and in the midst of horrendous harships.

My brothers and sisters, if I could, I would be with you there now to hold your hands, and to help to bury your dead, perhaps to share a smile with your children. I live on the other side of the world, and I can’t come in person, but I do send my prayers. Please accept them as a gift of love.

......................

Dr. Handley Moule, Bishop of Durham, visited West Stanley immediately after a terrible colliery explosion. He addressed the crowd at the pit's mouth, among whom were relatives of the entombed miners. "It is very difficult," he said, "for us to understand why God should let such an awful disaster happen, but we know Him and trust Him, and all will be right. I have at home an old bookmarker given me by my mother. It is worked in silk, and when I examine the wrong side of it, I see nothing but a tangle of threads. It looks like a big mistake. One would think that someone had done it who did not know what she was doing. But when I turn it over and look at the right side, I see there, beautifully embroidered, the letters, 'God is love!' We are looking at all this today," he continued "from the wrong side. Some day we shall see it from another standpoint and we shall understand."

Mr. Lee's Love Life

2010-01-04T06:25:00.000-08:00

Happy new year to each of you! I hope and pray that 2010 is a year of love for you, my friends and readers.

One way we can make the most of our year is by living with a positive attitude. That may not always be easy if our circumstances are difficult, but it is possible, and it helps enormously!

I’d like to tell you the story of my friend Mr. Lee. Some years ago, I was doing volunteer work in a hospital in Taiwan.

I would go around to the different rooms with books and magazines for patients to read, and a big smile and cheery greeting for their encouragement. Although most of the patients were glum, some were more cheery than others. As I entered one ward room with various patients, I noticed that although most seemed discouraged, there was one man in a corner bed who seemed positively radiant. I thought to myself that his injuries must have been minimal, and that he was only in for a few days and soon to be released. However, when I asked him about his condition, he told me that he had broken his back from falling seven stories from his balcony, and he would never walk again. He had been in hospital for six months.

I was surprised at the severity of his injuries and more surprised at his joyful spirit. When I finished my rounds, I went back to see Mr. Lee again, this time as a visiting friend. I got to know him a bit more, and over the next months I got to meet his family, and when he was finally released from hospital, he came to visit our home.

I was very interested in how he could be so cheerful in the face of such a difficult situation, and he told me this story (My words, from memory):

“When I first woke up in the hospital, I was surprised to find where I was. My family was so happy that I was awake, and would likely live. When I was told what had happened, I, too was very happy. But very shortly I found out that I had broken my back and that I would never be able to walk again. At that I became very discouraged and angry. I became withdrawn and bitter, and I couldn’t understand why such a thing could happen to me. I was angry, and sullen, and even when my family came to see me, I could not change my attitude.

“But slowly, I began to think more about my family. My wife and children loved me, and they were suffering with me. They had to live with a husband and father that would never walk again, and that was bad enough. But with my attitude of bitterness, they were having to suffer even more. Every time they saw me, they were suffering because of my attitude, and that suffering was needless. I decided that I had to change for their sake.

“I could not change my attitude, but I could pretend to be cheerful. So whenever they came, I would put on a smile that I did not feel, and pretend to be cheerful for their sakes. That seemed to help them quite a bit, and so I continued in that way for a long time. However, eventually, I found that I was not pretending so much anymore. Eventually it became the way I really was. I started pretending to be cheerful, and I became cheerful. Now I have a much more positive attitude about life than I did before. I am enjoying life much more, and I am thankful for what I still have left in my life. Although I cannot walk, I am a computer programmer, and I can continue to work without walking.”

Mr. Lee eventually was released from hospital, and when I last saw him he was walking with crutches, something that his doctors said he would likely never be able to do.

New Year Happiness

2009-12-29T23:24:00.001-08:00

I’d like to wish each of you who reads this a very happy new year! Even if by the time you stumble upon this page, it is no longer anywhere near January, I’d like to wish you personally a very happy period ahead.

Of course that brings up the question of happiness, and how and were it is found. It is pretty safe to say that we all want to be happy, and that real happiness is worth more than wealth or health. But where is that elusive quantity to be found? Some of the people who have struggled the hardest to have it seem to be pretty unhappy in their lives, and some who seem to have the most difficult lives seem to have the most internal peace and happiness.

We have just finished Christmas time, and if you are like me, you have probably read some of those heart warming Christmas stories that seem to abound at that time of year. And within some of those stories often lies a key to our quest: If you want to be happy, you have to think more about others than you do about yourself. It is one of the paradoxes of our lives. The more we struggle to make ourselves happy, the less happy we become. We become small in our own outlook, shrivelled, focused on our own wants, selfish, and in a sense, dead. Whereas if we start thinking more about others, it brings us life, enthusiasm, that warm loving feeling we crave so much, love in return from others, new vision.

In fact, there is a ripple effect. You have likely noticed it. A loving outgoing deed or word or smile causes the receiver to respond in kind, not only to the giver, but to others that they meet. The opposite is also true. Selfish words or actions also cause the receiver to respond in kind, and that ripple spreads across the pond of our community.

In my own life, I have seen quite clearly that those periods in which I focus on myself and my own wants, needs, lacks, desires, etc. are the times in which I tend to be the most frustrated, depressed, dissatisfied, and generally negative. The times when I am more concerned with helping others, relating to others, and giving out to others leave me more inspired, positive and happy. I recommend this strategy to you.

May you have a very happy new year filled with outgoing love and concern for others!

Keeping Christmas

2009-12-21T17:02:00.000-08:00

I'd like to share some Christmas sentiments from Henry Van Dyke:

Keeping Christmas

It is a good thing to observe Christmas day. The mere marking of times and seasons, when men agree to stop work and make merry together, is a wise and wholesome custom. It helps one to feel the supremacy of the common life over the individual life. It reminds a man to set his own little watch, now and then, by the great clock of humanity which runs on sun time.

But there is a better thing than the observance of Christmas day, and that is, keeping Christmas.

Are you willing to forget what you have done for other people, and to remember what other people have done for you; to ignore what the world owes you, and to think what you owe the world; to put your rights in the background, and your duties in the middle distance, and your chances to do a little more than your duty in the foreground; to see that your fellow-men are just as real as you are, and try to look behind their faces to their hearts, hungry for joy; to own that probably the only good reason for your existence is not what you are going to get out of life, but what you are going to give to life; to close your book of complaints against the management of the universe, and look around you for a place where you can sow a few seeds of happiness--are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.

Are you willing to stoop down and consider the needs and the desires of little children; to remember the weakness and loneliness of people who are growing old; to stop asking how much your friends love you, and ask yourself whether you love them enough; to bear in mind the things that other people have to bear on their hearts; to try to understand what those who live in the same house with you really want, without waiting for them to tell you; to trim your lamp so that it will give more light and less smoke, and to carry it in front so that your shadow will fall behind you; to make a grave for your ugly thoughts, and a garden for your kindly feelings, with the gate open--are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.

Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world--stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death--and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love? Then you can keep Christmas.

And if you keep it for a day, why not always?

But you can never keep it alone.

-- Henry Van Dyke

What Everybody Wants and Needs

2009-12-09T06:59:00.000-08:00

I’m taking a guess about human nature here, but I have met and made friends with lots of people, in quite a few different countries. We human beings tend to work diligently for the things that matter to us—up to a point. The problem is not that we are unwilling to work, but the problem is often that we aren’t really focused on what we want.

We want to lead good lives, we want to live comfortably, we want to raise our children in a good environment, and give them a good life, we want the boss not to be upset with us, we want our friends and neighbors to think well of us.

All of those things are good, and they keep us busy in our daily lives. They create demands on our lives that that we have to react to, and hopefully keep ahead of so that they remain demands and not crises.

But it would do us some good to take some time of consideration, of contemplation to decide what we really want out of life, and preferably before we get too old to do anything about it. If we have things that we consider essential to a successful life, we had better go to work on those things (this advice from a prince of procrastinators!).

What do you really want the most for yourself, and for your loved ones?

“I want to be happy!” Well, yes, that’s a good start, but where does that happiness come from? It only takes a brief examination of the lives, and the eyes of those who are wealthy and who can take exotic vacations to know that real happiness does not come from those things.

One important point to remember is that the whole world is yearning for, searching for, and in some cases dying for lack of love. Love is one place that happiness does come from. And love is free! Well, I had better modify that statement… Love doesn’t cost money. It does cost, because you can never find love by looking for it.

You can spend your life looking for someone or someones to love you, and many people do, and you will never be satisfied. Because the secret to love is that in order to receive it, you have to give it.

For those who can’t seem to find love in their lives, I have this suggestion. Start loving everyone around you! Not just the prettiest or most handsome, the coolest or easiest to love, but start giving love where it is needed. Love those who need it the most: those with bad breath, those who don’t have friends, those who can’t boost your social standing. Give love to the others, too, those who are non-persons in your life: the cashier at the supermarket, the bus driver, the janitor. Share a little love with the executives, managers, and business owners, too. They need it more than you can imagine.

We’re all on this Earth together, living a life that has plenty of problems. If you find it difficult to love someone that you’ve never met, or don’t know well, think about all that person has gone through, and will yet go through in their lives. Joys, and deep sorrows; facing both love and rejection; building dreams and often seeing them dashed. We all go through those things, and that is enough to merit love and appreciation from someone who is looking to give some to others.

Ask yourself if you can give a bit more love. Can you invest a bit more into this world that needs so much? Then think about who you know in your life that is the easiest to love. Who do you know that just draws love out of everyone they meet, whom everyone just naturally seems to love? People that I’ve know who are like that are that attractive because they give love wherever they go. People love them, because they have felt loved by them. The lesson is simple. If you want to receive love from others, you have to give love, and they will greatly love you in return.

Share the love!

International Handshake

2009-12-04T20:06:00.000-08:00

Introducing International Handshake

   Anyone who has traveled, particularly those who have spent some time living in a different culture knows that such an experience is very broadening. It opens up new perspectives, helps you to understand the way others think, and it helps you to review your own culture and ideas from a much better perspective.

   We have been attempting to bring that experience to people who have not been able to live overseas, and to enhance the experience for foreigners in our are by hosting international activities. These activities are designed to be an opportunity to connect with others across a cultural divide. They also help to address problems in society such as loneliness, fear, isolation, depression, etc.

   We have called our circle "International Handshake". You can visit our website for more details of our activities, and plenty of photographs at interhand.org . You might even find it worthwhile to start up something similar in your area!

Share the love!

Looking at Life Through the Eyes of Death (It's not as weird as it sounds!)

2009-12-02T08:08:00.001-08:00

One of our neighbors died recently. It was not totally unexpected, as he had pretty much terminal health issues. But the family was kind of surprised at how quickly he went from being apparently reasonably healthy (given his condition) to passing on. His death contributed to my starting this blog.

We humans tend to fear death, and the natural tendency given that basic fear is to pretty much ignore death, and pretend it doesn’t exist. It puts us in a pretty paradoxical position, of basically living in denial of the one event that is absolutely certain for every single one of us. Another part of the puzzle is that, although there are a lot of unhappy emotions connected with death, and in many cases quite some physical suffering, in a way, that event is very important to come to grips with in order to understand the meaning of our lives.

We humans (at least the ones I’ve talked to, which works out to quite a few) are very aware that our lives are important, have great meaning and potential, and are not to be wasted. And yet, day in and day out, our lives are often held captive by the demands and pressures of our days, either in the workplace, in school, in household chores, driving the children to activities and appointments, eating and sleeping, and the many other requirements of our lives. If there is any time left over, we often want to go into suspended animantion, and escape in front of the TV, computer, or other pasttime.

We know we are here for a purpose and a destiny, yet we often fail to even give thought to what is important in our busy lives.

Now, here is where some thought given to death can help greatly. Generally, the way we pass on from this life might be in one of two ways. Either it is something that we expect and see coming, such as those who are suffering from a long term life threatening illness, or it is unexpected, such as a car accident. The quick way means less suffering and anguish on the part of the decedent, but the slow way means that both the one soon to pass on and his family have a chance to prepare, to spend time together, and to say goodbye.

If you would like to see your life in a clear perspective, take a few minutes, and imagine yourself in the position of the one who knows that his or her time in this life is short, and has perhaps a few months left to prepare for the passage. Now, given that situation, what is important to you? Your house? Your car? The new furniture or china you really wanted? That raise you were hoping for? The extra hours put in at work?

None of those mean so much to you from that perspective, do they? What is important? I’ve asked this question of many people, and the first answer is almost always “Family”, followed perhaps by “Loved ones”. When folks are placing themselves in that position, I can’t remember hearing any other answer.

Love is it, folks! The love we share with family, other loved ones, and even with strangers gives meaning to our lives. Those moments of love are about the only thing we will enjoy looking back at when we are reviewing our lives. The other things will count for little or nothing. Even though I am not dying (that I know of), the things that haunt me in life are the times when I should have given more love and I failed to.

Now the good news is this: after spending a few minutes with this exercise, we can start bit by bit to change our lives, and to bring them into line with what we will want to see when we do get to that point. Any of us who are not dead yet, have at least some time to clear out past mistakes of lacks of love, and to invest a bit more of the time we have left into sharing love with those around us.

Take a step in that direction today! Make an effort to show some extra love to those in your life, especially those for whom it might be difficult. Family members with whom familiarity has grown up, relatives with whom we have argued, or work mates or even strangers whom we wouldn’t normally talk to at all. If you keep at it, you will start feeling the results in your life, and that feels GOOD!

Try it, you’ll like it! Live for love!

Welcome!

2009-11-25T06:20:00.000-08:00

I'd like to welcome each of you who sees this to Of Life and Love. I'm new at the blogging business, but I can see that there are many around who can help me if I do something wrong! Please feel free to add your comments, and if I need a correction, feel free to give it.

I started this blog to explore the issues of life and love, particularly the difficult ones, or those that are difficult to understand. I certainly can't pretend to have all the answers, I don't even have most of the questions. But I would like an opportunity to explore some of the questions and answers that I know of.

A word about where I am coming from. I am Christian, and strongly so, but I am not part of a denomination, and I am not traditional. Perhaps "unconventional" might be a good word here. As far as I am aware of, I agree in part with most of the various groups of Christians, but I don't line up exactly with most of the well known groups.

I love life, and I love people. I love the truth. I am generally anti-war, which is usually if not always, against life, people and truth. As the questions touched on here will often be those addressed in a religious context, I expect that many who have comments will be those who have a religious viewpoint. I welcome folks from various viewpoints, and I anticipate some lively interaction. It will be likely that many folks have opinions quite different one from another, and many will see things differently from the way I do. That is fine, but please try to be tolerant of others' viewpoints. Even those who feel the burden of helping others to come to the truth, must realize that the goal is not to push others into giving lip service to some belief that they don't in fact subscribe to. It is rare that someone can be truly convinced of a viewpoint in a hostile atmosphere. We all put up our defensive guards when we feel someone is arguing or attacking us. We soften and open up in an atmosphere of love.

Let's keep the love moving, and share it around!

Thanks for reading this far, and I hope to see you taking part here!

Martin